TOP FIFTEEN OBJECTIVELY BEST GAME OF THRONES SCENES*

15. Episode 3.3: The complete politics of the Small Council demonstrated through chair placement.

14. Episode 1.9: Ned Stark loses his head.

13. Episode 2.5: Brienne of Tarth pledges herself to serve Lady Catelyn.

12. Episode 1.5: Robert and Cersei get real discussing how fucked up their marriage has been.

11. Episode 4.2: Joffrey’s dying breaths.

10. Episode 3.6: The Wall cracks.

9. Episode 4.8: Oberyn Martell vs. The Mountain.

8. Episode 4.8: Sansa tells “the truth” about what sent Lysa Arryn through the Moon Door.

7. Episode 1.6: Khal Drogo awards Viserys Targaryen his “golden crown.”

6. Episode 4.1: The Hound and Arya make a good team for a pub massacre, and she gets her sword back.

5. Episode 3.4: Daenerys unleashes dragon fire on the douche who’s selling her the Unsullied.

4. Episode 2.9: Cersei gets drunk and speaks her mind to Sansa while they’re taking shelter during the seige.

3. Episode 2.10: Khal Drogo and Daenerys “reunite” in the House of the Undying.

2. Episode 3.4: Lord Varys tells Tyrion how he was cut and reveals what’s in that crate.

1. Episode 3.5: Jaime tells Brienne the real story of why he killed the Mad King.

(Before you can say “You forgot the Red Wedding”: No, I didn’t. It’s okay.)

And the top five worst bits:

5. Any Stannis scenes in which Melisandre is not present and we therefore have to endure his scowly face for no reason.

4. Shae’s descent from sassy mystery woman to insane jealous girlfriend to shockingly clueless revenge-seeker. What a wasted character.

3. Liberation of slaves glory ruined by deeply problematic White Savior imagery (who the hell signed off that chanting/lifting of Dany in episode 3.10??).

2. Cersei and Jaime’s nothing reunion (they just STARE at each other and then it cuts away!!!) followed by That Scene next to Joffrey’s body. Never ruin a great incest story by making it too rapey. This is basically the first rule of writing.

1. Literally anything to do with Theon getting tortured. I mean. Why.

HAPPY GAME OF THRONES DAY!

*This is just, like, my opinion, man.

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