Friday, part three: let’s play a game!

Recently, my esteemed friend Brandon sent me a link to an article on Radar Online titled Project Redlight, which shared the top ten entries in Radar’s call for readers to pitch their worst movie ideas. The results are quite amusing, but for the record I must state that there are three ideas on here that are definitely movies I would actually watch:

Christ Rider: A mix-up during the second coming of Christ results in Jesus’ soul being trapped in the supercomputer of the LAPD’s latest high-tech police car.

Jack and Dick: Secrets of the Oval Office: The real reason behind the JFK assassination is revealed when one brave Kennedy administration aide comes forward with startling evidence that Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy were involved in a torrid love affair.

Zom-Bees: Exterminated killer bees return from the dead and go on a rampage.

That killer undead bees one especially sounds sweet, am I right? And how funny could the other two ideas be in the right hands? Both of them sound like they could be episodes of South Park anyway. I say make the movies!

The article has me wanting to come up with my own pitches for movies that sound bad yet awesome. How about these?

Evil Spirit: When a demon is trapped in the body of a high school nerd after a spell gone wrong, he decides to make the most of it by wreaking havoc on the student body during spirit week. He gets more than he bargained for, though, when he switches the bodies of the head cheerleader and the star quarterback a week before the big cheer competition and Homecoming game. Determined to switch back and win their respective contests, they enlist the help of a local witch to help them find the demon, and a deadly war breaks out. Who will survive, and who will come away a champion?

G.P.S.: College friends embark on a GPS treasure hunt in search of money. Instead of finding buried treasure, they find a buried coffin that contains photos of a kidnapped woman and GPS coordinates that lead deeper into the forest. Are the photos real or part of a game?

The Last War: Cursed in his dying moments on the very first leap day in the year 45 B.C., the greatest warrior the world has ever known comes back to walk the Earth once every four years, on February 29. But on that day in the year 2012, he will find himself in the middle of the Apocalypse. Will one day be enough to stop the end of the world?

Pretty good, huh?! Okay, here’s the truth: two of those ideas are just me entertaining myself, and one is a real movie I came across on IMDb today and now really want to see.

The Game!

1. Without cheating, guess which movie pitch is the real deal.

2. Pitch your own bad/awesome movie idea, or give us two of your own ideas and one real movie for another guessing game. It’s just like Balderdash, so I know lots of you out there can do it!

3. If enough people participate, we can vote for our favorite pitch, and shower accolades upon the winner.



8 Responses to “Friday, part three: let’s play a game!”

  1. 1 Becca March 21, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Ooh! Ooh, this is brilliant. I vote for “G.P.S.” as the real movie. Geo-caching? More like…murder-caching!

    My bad-good movie pitch, in which I steal shamelessly from “Blowup” and the “Lethal Weapon” franchise:

    Modern-day major American metropolis. Main character A is a well-respected, perhaps overcelebrated fixture in the insular contemporary art world…s/he makes sculptures out of bird bones, paints ironic sexualized portraits, films insufferable Warhol-type movies. Is universally adored by underground artists, virtually unknown to real world (much to A’s chagrin). Main character B is a mid-level detective who hasn’t yet has a case to make his/her career; beginning to think it might never happen. A and B’s lives move along, unconnected, until B discovered that a murder/burglary case that s/he is working on was unintentionally documented during one of A’s art films. They have to then work together to solve the case, perhaps learn a little bit about each other’s worlds, and land a major installation at the Whitney. The end!

  2. 2 Brando March 21, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I am going to go with GPS as well…seems too cheesy to NOT be a movie coming out of hollywood these days…

    As for the Radar article, MY fave was “Dick Head”. With a tag line laike “Boy meets girl – but boy has a talking penis” a “super star” like Rob Schneider, you can not (not) fail.

    It has been a while since i have tried being creative; all needles and herbs in my head. But here is my attempt at creativity/desception

    Movie 1 – “Deep Thought” – man in horrible accident after the first 10minutes of the movie must travle throuhg the deepest regions of his mind in this twisted “American Mcgee-esq” mix of Tim Burton, Peter Jackson, and Pan’s Labrynth psychological Thriller.

    Movie 2 – “Heal Thyself” – a sucessful doctor is diagnosed with terminal cancer has to come to grips with the reality that he will not win; he cannot crue this patient. This late-in-life comming of age story follows the doctor as he attemps to mend is relationships while he has the chance, and learns the true meaning of healing.

    Movie 3 – “Stoner Justice” – after scoring some of the greatest, and strongest weed he has EVER had, this pot-head is witness to a sinister gang-style murder. Now, with the MOB, the cops, and his girlfriend after him, the Head Case and his waky dealer have to solve this crime…before 4:20

  3. 3 Brandi March 23, 2008 at 11:35 am

    Becca–love your idea and the gender neutral casting, can we make it a lesbian love story? I think that would really kick it up a notch.

    Brandon–Heal Thyself, excellent title! And that last one is a bit like the new one from the Judd Apatow clique, Pineapple Express, aye? :)

  4. 4 Emily March 24, 2008 at 11:22 am

    I will think about a movie pitch (perhaps something from the wacked-out dreams I’ve been having lately, no?), but for now I’m going to venture a guess and say that “The Last War” is a real movie. When do we find out? No, I’m not going to peak on IMDB.

  5. 5 Chelsea March 24, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Note to self: do NOT tell my parents that a geocaching movie actually exists.

  6. 6 Brandi March 24, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Yes you’re right…GPS IS the real movie. And it sounds awesome. And it was apparently filmed in Gig Harbor. I’m gonna monitor that bad boy and snatch it up when it comes out on dvd!

  7. 7 Jared March 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    I was hoping Evil Spirit was the real deal. But you’ve once again proven why you’re the Balderdash champ!

  8. 8 Brando March 25, 2008 at 7:22 am

    yes brandi, the third movie was taken from Pineapple Express…and what a horible movie THAT might be.

    I feel sad for Gig Harbor having to be associated with a movie about Geocaching…such a pretty place, scuh a crappy premis….

    oh well, fun game! lets do it again!

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