A moment for New Line

newline40years.jpgOh, New Line Cinema. The news that you will be absorbed into Warner Brothers truly saddens me. I shall always think of you fondly when I see your awesome logo come together at the beginning of a DVDor, even better, a VHS tape. So often it means that the movie we’re about to see will be silly, or crap, or silly crap, but one thing cannot be denied: it will be silly crap with a heart, and with style. A Nightmare on Elm Street, Critters, House Party, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Drop Dead Fred, Honeymoon in Vegas, Little Nicky, Final Destination, Snakes on a motherfucking Plane…these are just a few of the gems you had to offer us.

Of course, you flirted with serious, award-winning fare as well in your later years. I appreciate your involvement with A Few Good Men, Boogie Nights, Dark City, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, About Schmidt, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I thank you profusely for the wonderful and underappreciated Angus, for the beauty of Pleasantville, for the fun of my guilty pleasure Blast from the Past. The comedies you offered in your twilight years only built on the legacy of your own Dumb & Dumber and Austin Powers: The Wedding Singer, Elf, Wedding Crashers, the masterpiece Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Oh, how much more you must have had to offer!

I hear that some of your employees will continue at Warner Brothers, but many will be laid off and scattered to the wind. I urge you to band together and continue to produce more awesome crap, and more actual quality cinema. Do not rest in peace, New Line! Haunt Hollywood with your ghost!! It’s what Freddy Kreuger would have wanted.


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