Excerpt from a really serious, important conversation about film.

Ashley: i wonder if you could gross out the baristas just by ordering something like that. “caramel macchiato but leave room for sugar please”
me: they’d probably suspect you were turning into a fly like jeff goldblum
Ashley: never seen it
me: ah well, when he first starts changing he puts like 9 scoops of sugar in his coffee and makes a scene in a restaurant about how much he wants a cannoli. insects like sugar, yum yum
Ashley: does he also eat poop?
me: no it’s mostly donuts and orange crush, which doesn’t sound particularly disturbing but somehow is during the movie
Ashley: well that’s not very realistic at all is it? they should remake it darker, recast
me: it’s dark
Ashley: darker still
me: i think they are remaking it, actually. even though it was already a remake. i dunno who with though
Ashley: christian bale! he actually ate poop for a whole month before filming
me: you know he’s gonna be the adult john connor in the next terminator movie….and right now he’s actually fighting robots. such dedication!
Ashley: christian bale traveled through time to prepare for the role
me: he brought back his future self, who will be playing older john connor

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10 Responses to “Excerpt from a really serious, important conversation about film.”


  1. 1 patty February 7, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    christian bale was in a remake of The Fly? how did that turn out?

  2. 2 Emily February 7, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    So I randomly saw some sex scene from The Fly (or at least some other creepy thing with Jeff Goldblum) when I was like 12. I think I was scarred for life. And though I love doughnuts, there is definitely gross-ness potential there.

  3. 3 celeberrimous February 7, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    No he wasn’t really in a remake of The Fly.

    But he did really cut off his thumb for The Prestige. It’s actually a fake one now. Also he totally murdered someone before they made American Psycho, just to see what it was like.

  4. 4 Ash February 7, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    He also has a bat cave and and washes his hair with bat shampoo.

  5. 5 Ash February 7, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    And he is the actual King of New York.

  6. 6 Carly February 7, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    jesus i miss you girls.

  7. 7 Sara February 8, 2008 at 12:58 am

    You girls, leave my Patty and my Christian Bale alone! But that part about bat shampoo, that’s true. That was on E! yesterday.

  8. 8 Chelsea February 8, 2008 at 8:37 am

    Question: Is bat shampoo made of bats or for bat use?

  9. 9 celeberrimous February 8, 2008 at 10:03 am

    Well Chelsea, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.

  10. 10 patty February 8, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    i thought bat shampoo was actually bat guano. it has lots of moisturizing and restorative properties.


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Downton Gabby: podcasting about Downton Abbey from a funny, foul-mouthed, feminist perspective

Quick Lit: reading one short story a day in 2015

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