"Clear eyes! Full hearts! Can't lose!"
I don’t really understand the appeal of food shows in general. I’ll watch Top Chef for the competition aspect, yeah, but the shows that just demonstrate how to make stuff? With all apologies to Julia Child, I don’t get it. However, please enjoy the following hilarious spoof of such shows. (With the jump cut editing, it’s like the Food Network meets 1960s Godard! Sort of? Eh?)
2 things:
1. I want both of those dresses.
2. I already have that exact blender!
You all know of my love for scary movies. But: a confession. I’m feeling more sympathy these days for people who can’t deal with the scary. And that’s because I seriously had a nightmare the day after seeing Paranormal Activity. This is not a usual symptom for me, but this was an all-out, had to get up and turn on the lights kind of nightmare. So, a list for all you wimps out there, myself apparently sometimes included.
1. Trick ‘r Treat
This poor movie was hyped up like crazy and then lost in a bizarre Warner Bros. release date shift. It’s been unceremoniously released straight-to-DVD this month, two years after it was supposed to go to theaters. I’m happy to report that it is very much worth a rental. Four urban-legendy-type stories intertwine at a town’s Halloween celebration, with alternately creepy and funny results. Not really scary, but perfectly captures the mood of the holiday.
2. Re-Animator
Sure, there’s a disturbing element at work in the mission of Dr. Herbert West. But this is brilliant camp all the way. When he re-animates a certain smashed house pet….you may shriek at first, but mostly you’ll just laugh more than you might be proud of.
3. Supernatural, season four, episode five, “Monster Movie”
The spectacular Supernatural was deep into some crazy ongoing storylines by this point in season four, but the series has always been good at taking a break now and then for a fun one-off episode. You need about as much backstory for this one as for a typical Scooby-Doo adventure. Yet, it’s one of my favorites. Just two hot brothers, facing off against a shape-shifter with a thing for classic movie monsters. Extremely appropriate for the season.
4. The Addams Family
Because it’s been too long since you’ve seen this hugely entertaining movie. Admit it. You love this movie. Yes. You can quote it right now. And it ends with Halloween. So it’s perfect all around. Watch, then dance the Mamushka. You know you want to.
5. Gremlins 2: The New Batch
Because you have to watch the first one at Christmas, not Halloween! But the sequel is a great little monster movie by its own merits.
Enjoy the holiday, everyone!
Know what today is? Today is FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS day. My lucky, lucky DirecTV-having self will be nowhere but right in front of my television at 6 PM tonight (Eastern time yesssssss) to transport to marvelous Dillon, TX once again. Oh God in heaven, how I love this show. And I never get tired of re-visiting where it all began, with one of the best pilot episodes I’ve ever had the privilege to watch:
This is what television is for.
We’ve had a particularly nice beginning-of-fall here in Seattle, so even though there’s been chatter about Halloween, I haven’t really felt its approach. But the days are getting shorter, the weather has taken a turn for the dreary, and the cold, dark evenings cause me to cozy up to the Internet more and more. The result of this confluence: I’ve finally remembered that it’s the time of year to talk about horror movies here at the ol’ blog.
Technically I could say I started yesterday with my rave of Paranormal Activity. If you’ll indulge an odd segue, when I was writing that round-up of recent films, I noticed that while I sometimes give TV shows a specific grade at the end of a review, I never do for movies. Perhaps it’s because I so adore Roger Ebert, who dislikes such grades (but does provide them—with some grousing—as a major film reviewer must). Yet, I’m obsessive about rating films on Netflix. I’ve tried to rate every movie I’ve ever seen (except those with no listing in Netflix—a surprisingly high number. Thank you, Mac film classes and SIFF cinema). The great thing about Netflix ratings, though, is that they stand for how much you personally love or hate the movie, rather than asking for an accurate reflection of a film’s significance. Thus, I can justify giving 5 stars to my beloved Home Alone (“Loved It”, in Netflix translation) and only 3 (“Liked It”) to Woody Allen’s seminal Manhattan.
So, what does this have to do with anything, you’re asking? Here’s my idea for kicking off a series of horror-themed posts: sharing the five horror films I’ve given 5 stars to on Netflix. If this seems a rather exclusive club, it’s not, really. Anything that falls under “Classic” or “Thrillers” or “Sci Fi & Fantasy” in Netflix’s categorization system wouldn’t have popped up in my search. So, The Birds, The Exorcist, Psycho, Alien, The Thing? All eliminated.
For extra fun: I bet if you read this blog regularly, you can guess at least a few of the five. So, I’m listing them after the jump. I’ve never used the jump before! It sort of annoys me. But I’ll do it anyway, just this once.
Many gems out there right now.
1. Paranormal Activity
I really, really hate that title. And I really, really liked this movie. You know the film was worth your money when afterward you spend as much time as the length of it discussing it with your friends. Not only did the movie provide genuine scares, it laughed in the face of horror clichés while doing it. (The thing-appears-in-mirror’s-reflection and the why-doesn’t-anyone-believe-us are particularly well-not-served.) I’ve read a few reviews of people who didn’t like the film, complaining about the shaky cam, small cast, confined set, etc. I’m not sure what extravagance they’re expecting from an $11,000 movie, and the confined set is half the point, buuuuuuut….whatever. The one criticism I truly throw my hands up to is that not enough happens in the film. To people who think this I say: if you don’t like movies where the anticipation is a crucial part of the enjoyment, then I and Dr. Frank-N-Furter would like to tell you to please stop trying to be a horror fan and just go watch the WWE or something.
2. Whip It
What a shame that this movie tanked at the box office! Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat, Juliette Lewis, Marcia Gay Harden, Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig: I would have been joyful to see this cast just having fun in a bad movie. But this is not at all a bad movie. It’s full of small moments that are both offbeat and genuine, it tells a satisfying sports story in a fresh arena, it tells a satisfying coming-of-age story while remembering that the most important thing about coming of age is not necessarily getting yourself a boyfriend, as so many teen movies would have you think. Even the standard movie tropes such as the overbearing mom and the secret-football-watching dad feel dusted off and spruced up. It’s cute and fun! And those are good things.
3. Bright Star
Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. I mean, it’s Jane Campion, so you knew it would be visually lovely. But that word sticks in my head to describe everything else as well: the dialogue, the performances, the quick little cuts, the faces. The unanimous opinion of those I saw it with: this is a movie to buy and watch again and again. The best romance I have seen in ages, and so much more than a romance. A portrait of two pure people, and hopefully the springboard for even greater things for Abbie Cornish and Ben Whishaw.
4. Where the Wild Things Are
Yep, I saw it! Wham! Preview fundraiser! Cinerama! Max Records and Dave Eggers were there! It was good! And that’s all I’ll say about it for now, since I’m not sure if I’m “allowed” to blog pre-release.
And even having seen one movie that isn’t even out yet, I’m so far behind…A Serious Man? Zombieland? The Informant? I need more time!
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